Humorous Quotes

Humorous Quotes

Man was predestined to have free will. ~Hal Lee Luyah


Maybe this world is another planet's hell. ~Aldous Huxley


Murphy was an optimist. ~O'Toole's Commentary


The only thing that stops God from sending another flood is that the first one was useless. ~Nicholas Chamfort


The remarkable thing about Shakespeare is that he really is very good, in spite of all the people who say he is very good. ~Robert Graves


The ships hung in the sky in much the same way that bricks don't. ~Douglas Adams


The surest sign that intelligent life exists elsewhere in the universe is that it has never tried to contact us. ~Bill Watterson, Calvin and Hobbes


Today is the last day of some of your life. ~Author Unknown


Without geography, you're nowhere. ~Author Unknown



Ability is what will get you to the top if the boss has no daughter. ~Author Unknown


Love your enemies. It makes them so damned mad. ~P.D. East


As to the Seven Deadly Sins, I deplore Pride, Wrath, Lust, Envy and Greed. Gluttony and Sloth I pretty much plan my day around. ~Robert Brault, www.robertbrault.com


I usually lump organized religion, organized labor, and organized crime together. The Mafia gets points for having the best restaurants. ~Dave Beard


There's no such thing as fun for the whole family. ~Jerry Seinfeld


The universe is merely a fleeting idea in God's mind - a pretty uncomfortable thought, particularly if you've just made a down payment on a house. ~Woody Allen


My doctor says that I have a malformed public-duty gland and a natural deficiency in moral fiber, and that I am therefore excused from saving Universes. ~Douglas Adams


And on the eighth day God said, "Okay, Murphy, you're in charge!" ~Author Unknown


May those who love us love us,
and those who do not love us,
may God turn their hearts,
and if He cannot turn their hearts
may He turn their ankles
that we may know them by their limping.
~Irish Prayer